WHO CARES???

i hate it when i run into someone that has known me in school or has known some member of my family and then proceeds to talk to me like i give a shit!! especially when the person is a DUMBASS!!! ugh. not that i think im too good to talk to said person or ppl but......like "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas" so is my philosophy when it comes to running into ppl that i have never bothered to keep in touch with. HELLO? theres a reason i didnt continue to keep up with u. "what happens in the past, stays in the past" heres the deal.........

the same day i was supposed to start workin with the mr/dd i had applied at a different nursing facility, got hired, went to mr/dd place said it wasnt gonna work, had orientation yesterday at new facility.....while i was waiting for class to start this woman eyes me and asks....."rnt u v's daughter?" i ask, "v who?" (cause ofcourse theres more than one v in the world) she says, "oh then nevermind u must not b." i say, "well i know more than one v." (keep in mind that as soon as she asked me this question i knew she was talkin about my mom, we look just alike) she says my mothers last name. so i say, "yeah im her daughter." she then proceeds to ask me if i remember her. now im thinkin y the fuck would i remember u, u have never been to moms house nor do i recall mom ever saying anything about u. when i tell her that i dont remember her she says that she used to work for my mom and also names off several other ppl that used to work together. hmmm. i think back.......oh yes! i remember u now! mom used to bitch about u to me!! no, i didnt flip the asshole switch and say that to her face. i simply nodded. then the conversation was over and i asked myself........what the hell possesses ppl to do that shit? to approach someone that they never had any direct contact with? to think that they r sooo important to someone elses life that they would b remembered? let me just say that if ur important to me i already keep in touch with u and we probably hang out on a regular basis. not to mention.........what the hell do u think is goin to happen when u c someone out that u used to go to school with, or a family member knew and then u walk up to them??? u think that y'all r gonna start sharing ur lifes stories? all it amounts to is a competition.......where u workin at now? oh u have a house? just bought a car? had a kid? got married? wow. blah blah blah. i hate that. thank god she will b workin in a different department and shift than me.

Randomness

I just thought I would write down some random things. First there are now three weeks of school left including finals... I am only like completely flipping out. I am a little disappointed in myself because somehow I can't pull off all A's with fewer credit hours and drinking less. Go figure. There are probably lots of reasons and I am sure that most of you are like oh great another perfectionist. I am not, but I like to do my best and usually that's enough...
My real focus is to remind myself that while everything is really sucking right now, that next year I have my apartment and I will be trying to find a new place that isn't in Ohio and I will be free or at least freer. I don't know what it is but I don't know I can't stay in Ohio and not just because finding a job would be hard. I need to start living my life. For so long I have just been tryying to get through everything, and now that I am almost through school I want to enjoy my life. I just hope that one day everything falls together and I can.

JUST B/C

i wanted to post just b/c no one else has posted, but i really dont have anything of importance to announce......i had found something else on my credit report which i disputed. an unpaid parking ticket my x had back in september.....i wrote into the credit bureau to let them know that he is financially responsible for that car even though both our names r on it.....i was denied. the agency is still going to keep that deliquent account on my report. ugh. i will try calling the collection agency myself and explaining to them to c if that helps at all, probably not but wont hurt to try. i tried calling the x to let him know but guess what? his pcs # is no longer in service! hahaha

i got to hang out with mandy and tim saturday evening. that was fun, we sat outside and had a couple of drinks, played that game Marry, Date or Dump........that was alot of fun. shes doin aight, got laid off at the factory and is lookin for another job. we have a factory here in town thats on strike. u drive by day or nite and the shift workers r all outside with their signs and coffee. how sad. factories suck! just take care of ur employees for the love of god!!

tim got a promotion at his job!! woohoo!! im really proud of him, hes only been there for 6 months and hes becoming a manager. :)

i saw my brother for a few minutes when i took my laundry out the other day. i think he was in a mood....i didnt stay long. i hope hes doin better when i go back to get my clothes. :)

thats about it. at least for my life. and thats okay. btw, y is Britney Spears being pregnant such a big fuckin deal??? i swear on the news its as if theres nothin else goin on in the world!!! wtf. i sure as shit dont care about Britneys pregnancy. tons of women r pregnant all the time and no one makes a story out of them..........ugh.

NEWS FLASH.....

heres some tid bits of news that i have.......first, i found a different job last week. still workin in nursing but will b workin with the mr/dd. (mr/dd means mentally retarded and developmentally disabled) im a little nervous about it since i have not worked with the mr/dd b4. mainly im worried about gettin my ass kicked by the residents......nothin i havent been thru b4 but then again in my previous jobs i didnt have to learn specific defense moves to protect myself!

second, i still have not gotten the rest of my stuff from my x. remember me sayin he would just ship it??? yeah, no go. not that i really expected it but its just more proof of his character. ugh.

thirdly, the other day i had a "girly day" and went n got my nails done then my hair done. yep its cut and colored.......blonde highlights! :) u know how i am though when im in these salons, i check ppl out. well, this time was no different than the other time i posted about sittin in a salon. at the nail salon an older lady walked in with an all velvet sweat suit on. lmao. ladies it is not cool to wear velvet no matter ur size!! not to mention the thing was hot pink. ew! but what amazed me was that her ass was incredibly tight.......i have never seen anyones ass that tight, then again maybe she was flexing while signing her name in. anyhoo, at the hair salon there were plenty of lil old ladies gettin perms. y do most older ladies all have the same cut and style??? short and curly. hmmm it did make me think about the times i did my grandmas hair. i can remember her sittin in her dining room chair and me rollin her hair in curlers and then squeezing those stinky chemicals over her head. i always loved curling her hair when the perm was all done. besides that i noticed that at both salons the techs didnt necessarily perform their own services on themselves.......u know the nail techs didnt have their nails done and some of the stylists didnt have their hair done. i found it curious. thats just me.

aight, i have more but its about that time for me to head into class so ill post later.....ciao.

SEX ED!!!! YEA RIGHT!!!!!

Sex Ed., please! I thought it was pointless for teachers, back in the day, to talk about sex. However, my family was very open about sex. Never made it feel like an uncomfortable issue. I learned a lot at a very young age, do's, don'ts, pros, and cons. Yea, nothing was kept secret. Then not only was my family open, I had ran into a nightmare as a young child, that lasted for over a year, and I had to learn the hard way, even more, about a man that I should have at such a young age. My friends was always coming to me for info on things bc they knew how open things were. And I had no problem tellling them what I knew. Keep in mind we were much older then elementary children when they started asking questions. If I don't know about something I have no problem asking some of my peers if they know but not very often does that sort of thing happen. Like Tasha said in a previous post, she had her first adult store expirence with me. Like some of my other friends. I told her what I knew and what I didn't. In school, they teachers talked about not having sex and saving yourself until marriage. Uh, honestly, practice what you preach, but thats besides the point. I think maybe once I heard that word condom and a few times birth control and yes STD's. What was talked about just wasn't enough. I can't begin to tell ya how many ppl got pregnate in school amoung other things. Also rumors of ppl having STD's. WTF. I don't think that parents should let the school systems take control of you childrens education. As a parent you are supposed to protect your child and help them through out lifes course. If something happens to your child, prego or STD's or what have you, then parents need not to blame teachers, you need to blame yourself for not letting you balls drop and not growing up your damn selfs. I thank GOD everyday that I grow up in the family I did. My family took responsibility for their own and never once made it a teachers responsibility to teach us something, like sex, that couldn't be taught at home. If you need someone else to teach you children about personal topics or about life in general, then you need to wait to become a parent. Children look up to you to help them grow and learn and to keep them safe. Acting like certain issues don't exsist, you are neglecting all 3 amoung other things. As for the teachers that are reading this. Do as you need to do bc in a lot of cases you are the only one keepin kids in the know. Just please show all sides and not just the side you want them to see. Curiousity killed the cat!!!!!

SCHOOL SIZED NYMPHOS

the other nite i watched a documentary on "teen sex". i was only mildly shocked considering more and more ppl r just too sexed up these days. they had several kids on the show that they had followed around and spoke with---only one was 19 and the other 17, the rest were 14 yr olds. hmmm i dont remember thinking about sex at 14. i dont remember the so called pressure these kids were experiencing to have sex. i dont recall ever sitting around my lunch table and all of us discussing who was having sex or giving blow jobs and y the others werent. maybe thats b/c i never let myself b pressured into anything or maybe its the fact that small towns r different. these kids were consumed with the idea of "hookin up", and most thought that oral sex was not the same as sex so they were in turn still virgins. well thats just a technicality, the two r definitely different, but its all still some sort of sex. the parents of these kids is what got me most.....it was as if they were livin in some bubble of denial. "susie told me she was gonna save herself til marriage so shes not doin anything." r u fuckin kiddin me??? i cant say that if the parents had a discussion with their kids that it would have mattered, but at least the kids would have been informed. truth is, my mom never had the sex talk with me, but she made me feel comfortable enough to tell her when i was ready to have sex so that she could help get me on some birth control. sheesh! i think the problem is that the school systems r preaching the wrong things in their sex ed classes......sure, keep on with the std info, and try to remain abstinent, but get real!!! lets also talk about what to do if ur gonna decide to have sex anyways. there was one, just one, school on this program that taught both sides of this issue. good for them!!! more school sex ed programs should b like that. i know i know, y is the school system havin to teach kids about sex? when does the parent take responsiblity? well, most parents r oblivious as this show clearly pointed out. not to mention its probably hard to imagine ur own son or daughter having sex. reality is what it is. i know that when im a parent i wont know all the medical terms for everybody's parts so my kids will have to learn that in school. and i also wont know all the stds that they can pick up so that too will have to b learned in school. i will talk to them about the other side of sex, the emotional side, what to expect the first time, and that if they choose to have sex the options for protection, to always use protection cause "im not raisin fuckin bambinos"----those words my mom said will forever b burned into my brain. lol

SWEET DREAMS???

ugh, i hate it when i cant sleep. i am restless. its like ive got a trillion things racing thru my mind so quickly that i cant even put the thoughts into words.....well this definitely sucks! with the hope that if i at least try to type these thoughts out i will find sleep soon im gonna start rambling......the other day i had a conversation with a random person. i shouldnt even call it a conversation cause they did all the talking. which in some instances its appropriate to just listen, but this person was self absorbed. i called them out on this rude behavior and the reply i got was "so what". hmmm what the hell happened to common courtesy? god the world is goin to shit. it pisses me off and disgusts me......would a hot shower help the feeling i have? ugh. i have had this urge to call tim all day and have refrained myself. dont know y for sure, just did. but now the urge is even stronger. i read an entire book today, "lovely bones", wow. bout a girl who is raped and murdered. she tells the story from heaven as she watches her family deal with the whole ordeal. i cant even put into words how its made me feel. i can definitely relate to some characters. i keep gettin headaches, not sure y but i always get a hint of panic when i get a really bad one......as if i have some undetected brain anuerysm. i need bread and milk and i need to go get my laundry from my brothers. i feel better but when i blow my nose blood comes out.....i need to calm down. just breathe. fuckhead didnt bring my shit back to me like he said he would, not surprised but now he says he'll ship it to me.......god what if something sentimental breaks. ill b devastated. ugh. i have a thing for him to renew the tags for his car on my bday he says hes already mailed it in but i dont trust him. what happens if he doesnt get the tags? my name is on the registration, will i get into trouble? im sick of hearing about other ppls relationships.....god the world is goin to shit....i still need to finish up rodneys house, only the kitchen left. god! i miss my mom. i want a different job. thank god for the sunshine and warm weather. always a positive right? ahhhhhhhhhhh. this isnt working, im gonna try some fresh air........

THE DAILY BULLSHIT

first of all i want to ask everyone if they remembered to turn their clocks ahead?? ok, enough with the public service anouncements! i havent posted in awhile and now realize that i dont really have anything useful to say.....hmmm, what a dilema. oh! well tim and i talked about family dynamics. he came over last nite and i was admist writing a letter to my aunt in NC. yeah i could have easily typed up an email, but my uncle is the only one that reads those and i figure cause hes a guy he cant really b interested in all the bullshit that i talk about. and thats where tim and i started talkin about this dynamic thing.....the literal bullshit that i talk about when i write letters to my aunt and uncle and y i do that. thing is they talk to other members of the family that dont really need to know anything that me and my brother r doin here. and we all know how one little piece of information can b hugely misconstrued when passed along from person to person---i dont need that. while i know that my aunt does this to simply let everyone know we're okay its still a matter of conversation not being kept private. what ever happened to that idea? "whatever we talk about stays between u and me." i know im not talkin to a professional with a confidentiality clause but i still expect the same respect.....hence the reason i only write about shallow, bullshit things. if i dont give anyone potential gossip then no one can gossip. its weird how families work, the clicks, the gossip and the back stabbing......reminds me of high school. and thats sad. tim ofcourse tried to make me feel better, but its not that i feel bad about it. thats just reality. he says every family is like that.........i can only wonder.

as far as the rest of my life lately.....still fightin with this cold, ugh. saw angie n steve and got to hang out with mandy. work is work. and i had to hide out from a stalker---jk tim!! :) thank god we can laugh about that now. oh and ive been workin on the same 500 piece puzzle for about 3wks. (the pieces r all angled, so no its not that easy) i hate clouds!!! :-p i keep toyin with the idea of just givin up and tearing it apart, but we've put so much of it together.....damn it. lol anyhoo.......more later.

Just an FYI

Look ppl! The Get Mine, Get Yours post was not saying go and whore around but if you do, do it safely. I am not saying that it is ok to whore around, sleep around or what have you. Trust me. I think ppl should be perfectly well aware of STD's myself. They is a rising rate of STD's and ppl toy with the idea of casual sex way to often safe or not and its sad. If you had noticed my post about my soapbox I was preaching about STD's, actually one in particular, HPV. So please don't get me wrong, I am not promoting free casual sex. Just saying if you do do it then be safe. And everyone that does "Whore Around" male or female needs to have the same standards. If my post Get Mine, Get Yours offended anyone, thats your problem. I was just putting it out there raw. I probably should have gone into more detail about the whole thing so ppl don't get me wrong and after the little comment that was made I figured I would just clarify. Like I said, everyone, for the most part, is horny. Ppl just take their horniness out with other ppl or, yes Stacy, even toys. Which, just an FYI for you, I would use a "Silver Bullet", "The Venus Penis", or my personal favorite, "The Butterfly"! They are wonderful choices! And if any of the "whoring around" comments where for me, you don't know me for one, and for 2 I Get Mine like many ppl tend to get theirs, and for 3rd I have plently of toys to keep myself pleased without the use of a man. But of course that was if those comment where for me. If not take it as an FYI. Be safe ppl. Shit happens and I wouldn't wish it on not even my worsed enemy.

Get mine, Get yours

Oh damnit! What is it there are, so it seems, two different sets of rules for women and men when it comes to sex? Why can't a girl go out and get hers with a different dude whenever she wants without being called a slut or a whore or some other lable? A guy can fuck ever girl is sight and he not be thought of as these things. I don't think its such a bad thing for a girl or guy to go out and get theirs as long as its done safely. Lets face it, everybody, for the most part, is horny and we all need a little lovin occassionally; or perhaps more often then just on occassion. As long as everyone is happy and things are done right then it should be a job well done. Just pat yourself on the back and move on. Next please! Now lets think about it. Who wants to go to a resturant and order the same damn thing everytime. Its nice to know what else on the menu taste good. Take your pick, steak, shrimp, carrots, salad, ice cream, pie, whatever your in the mood for. Sounds nice uh? Yeah, thats what I thought too. Don't for get to tip your waiter or waitress. MMMMMMMMM!!!!!! Granted, not everything you try is going to be a homerun but atleast you were willing to try it once. So, what does everyone think about this? I am not saying let everyone in the goodie bag ppl. Just saying if you need it, you got it, take it and just play all until the ride is done. I am sure that most ppl don't or are unable to ride every roller coaster at the park. You just ride your favorites and sometimes pick a new ride to see if you will enjoy the thrill.