PPL SUCK!

well work tonite was interesting.....in that i did most of the fuckin work!!! now i understand that the girl i was workin with was sick---feel like u wanna puke sick---but if she was that sick then her ass shoulda stayed home. grrrr. i got all the vitals, put my ppl to bed, passed dinner trays, picked up trays, put 2 of her ppl to bed, did her last rounds, rearranged furniture, and did a bed bath all this evening........yeah i busted my ass, and thank god my nurse noticed. u know the ppl i like to work with is getting fewer and fewer. tomorrow nite i work with M, whew! my resident, D, from the other side told my boss this evening that she likes me takin care of her and that he needs to put me on her hallway.....i was lucky enough to witness this convo and sure enough he said that on wednesday she'd have me. hmmmm

i saw mandy on sunday. she came to pick up that phone i borrowed......but we got to gabbin and threw off my plans for the rest of the day. ugh, i hate it when that happens!! guess ill b doin those chores on thursday now. but anyways.......she brought up the fact that this guy she had been so frequently talkin about is now a turnoff to her. and yet she continues to do what shes been doin with this guy, hmmm. doesnt make much sense to me but its her drama. i try to point things out to her, get her to think and i know she hears me. having her listen is another story. but thats the way it goes with most of us when our friends r tryin to point out bad situations and such........God help her.

tim has a "get away" planned for me this upcomin weekend since ill have 3 days off in a row. something about pampering? i dont know....but i dont take to ppl just doin things for me very well. when ive been taught all my life to b self sufficient and independent its hard to just let go and let someone else do the work. am i crazy? i suppose ill just suck it up and try to enjoy the pampering. i know hes doin what most chics would kill for in a bf, but we've known each other for 10yrs!!! hasnt the "newness" the "honeymoon" stage worn off by now? i shouldnt even bring it up and just b appreciative---and i am so ill just "hush my muffins", relish in the journey and thank god that ive been lucky enough to have met him in the first place!!!

i feel somewhat better. still stuffy and nasal-y and tired......ok so it sounds like im still sick, but my throat isnt hurtin and i have my voice back! small steps...... ;) so im off here to soak and then crawl into bed. awwww sweet sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

WORK

arrrrrrgh! work tonite was fairly smooth, no doubt due to the fact that i worked with M. shes a good worker despite what other ppl say. if and when i work the 100/200 side of the building i love to have her there....i think im goin to b a permanent fixture on that side of the building, the last 7 days that ive worked ive been on that side. hmmmm. i guess i wouldnt mind workin that side, but somehow i feel like im put over there as "punishment" and thats not cool. not to mention im noticing more and more that theres several ppl that get preferential treatment, also not cool. anyhoo. so while my side of the building was pretty calm the other side was not. a resident over there coded---which means their heart stopped beating, and the emts were called. he was full code and so they got the resident back, but its not lookin very good. thats the shitty part of my job......takin care of these ppl and then they check out. a couple of the aids took it pretty hard, which also comes with the territory. funny how we're all taught not to get attatched, but how does that happen when sometimes ur the only family these ppl have?

i got a phone call today from mandy......she was busy packin and movin her stuff to her new apartment. shes stopping by tomorrow to get the phone she let me borrow. she'll have her internet and phone all hooked up and ready to go by this upcoming thursday. b prepared folks! hahaha

i got an offline message from hoochie mama the other day.......she said "i love vodka. and i could cuss up a storm!" hmmm well we all knew she loved vodka, but cussin up a storm, that had me concerned. i left her a message back askin what was up.......her answer......."im in school, therefore i want to cuss up a storm." ill have to get to the bottom of this later!!!

WISHES.....

the other nite tim came over to check on me and we got on the subject of death. we talked about wills and living wills and what we wanted to happen when we passed on. well, i did most of the talkin, i dont think he is quite as comfortable about the whole subject as i am. the convo started when i realized that my emergency contact person doesnt even know what im allergic to! not that this had me in fits, but it would b better if they knew u know. and it would b better if my contact person was aware of my wishes if a situation were to come about, but they dont. it brought up all kinds of things.....did u guys think of this stuff when u put someones name on that little line? cause i didnt think twice about it til the other nite, and that was a little scary. how awful would it b if u were lyin in a hospital bed and the doctor asks ur contact person, r they allergic to anything and the only thing the person could do is give the doc a blank stare?!?! or what if the situation were that u could have emergency surgery and have a 50% chance to live or lay in the bed and still have a 50% chance to live.....would ur contact person know what ur wishes were? mine sure doesnt........its a subject thats touchy, most ppl dont want to think about the end. i think we sign someones name as an emergency contact thinkin they will do whats in our best interest, and no doubt they would. but what if what they think is in our best interest isnt what we really want? its a very mature subject that needs more discussion. i know that when i lost my mom i had no idea what all of her wishes were, so i just went with my gut and how well i knew her. no one should have to guess.......

1. i want to b cremated. dont buy an urn, put some of my ashes in a pretty jar--somethin that screams "Tasha"--the rest of my ashes, spread out at Memorial Gardens.

2. if i have an accident that has caused me to b a vegetable, do not do anything that will prolong my life, i am nothing without my mind.

3. i am allergic to amoxicillan and bee stings make me ill. i am borderline diabetic and i have a heart murmur.

4. if i still have my journals when/if "that" time comes.....burn them all and pls respect me even in death by not reading them b4 u burn them.

5. take my life insurance policy and pay for funeral expenses and final bills. do not go out with w/e money is left over and purchase things for urself---my death is not for ur profit. put some of the left overs in bonds or cds so that someone, maybe my kids, can go to school or at least have a safety net in case of hard times.

6. i want my loved ones to have my photos and drawings. and to take something of mine that is not necessarily of monetary value to remember me by. my daughter, if i have a girl, will have my wedding ring. the family heirlooms that i have now will go back to my brother. i want my old clothes to b given to any nursing facility, not salvation army.

7. u can donate my organs except my eyes.

8. no autopsies.

9. pls notify Rodney, Uncle Carl, Tim, Angie, Dave(from neffs) if somethin serious happens. Tim and Angie can help ya figure out who else of my friends to notify.

10. all the material objects---furniture, dvds, cds, pc, etc. will stay with my spouse or go to my kids when the time comes. if i dont have my own family...if it will make ur life a little easier to have say my tv or microwave, etc. feel free to take it, but no fighting over shit. anything that was moms will also go back to my brother.

11. do not let family and "friends" come out of the woodwork lookin for somethin they dont deserve.

12. Tim and Jess r to b in charge of my estate.

i think that covers it without givin out to many specifics to the whole world! ;) those will b specified in a will. i feel better havin discussed these things with tim, cause i at least know that if my emergency contact person doesnt know these things or doesnt read this....i know they will tell tim if somethin bad happens to me and he can guide them. even though its not a happy conversation to have we need to have it and so there it is.

PHEWY

not much new to report on the home front, hahaha. i am sick. ugh. my throat is killin me, havin to talk really loudly at work certainly doesnt help that. work is work----ive been on the 100/200 side of the building for 3 days now, im gettin burnt out on it. that side of the building ppl rnt necessarily dyin, but recovering from falls and hospital visits---they r much more demanding cause they r alert and aware of everything. there was a resident last nite that kept pushing her call light for what i thought were ridiculous things. ie.....my pillows rnt str8, the blinds rnt tightly shut together, ask my roommate if she wants some cookies, etc. ugh!

havent heard from mandy since saturday nite. im sure everything is fine, i dont really have the voice to b chattin with her on the phone. shes supposed to b moving this weekend. i work so i hope she has found a couple of other ppl to help her move. im sure she'll get back to posting on here when shes settled in.......

hoochie mama made it back to school aight and is doin the usual there. not really sure what that is, but im assuming studying and hangin out. speakin of.......her gauging her ears wasnt as bad as what i thought, they rnt super huge yet. ;) shes excited bout her next visit home, yeah but no late nites for me, it kills my immune system. (im old! hahaha)

so thats that. im gonna go dope up on some medicine, try to make myself feel better.

MY OWN LIST

ive decided that since i can b quirky at times that i should make known my "rules" for anybody that knows me and yet doesnt get my quirkiness...........in no particular order......

1. respect my stuff....i havent busted my ass to have what i do for nothing.
2. dont "flop" on my furniture
3. dont eat sloppy food on my furniture
4. unless i ask u to move something, dont touch my knicknacks, photo frames and other things
5. always knock on my door, also dont knock and open the door at the same time--wait for me
6. if im watchin tv or listenin to music, if i get up for w/e reason it is NOT a sign that u should change the channel or cd track
7. know when uve out stayed ur welcome---if i start cleanin like a mad woman, pickin up snacks and glasses, thats a good sign to get the fuck out
8. if we have plans, dont b late, if ur goin to b late....call
9. dont try to tell me what to do if ur in my house
10. b comfortable around me but not too comfortable
11. if we've been using my car, my food or w/e at least offer some cash so that i can replenish what was used
12. no shoes on the furniture
13. do NOT go into my bedroom for ANY reason....unless i say its ok
14. dont assume that just cause ur my friend or that u know me that anything goes around me
15. dont embarass me or my name
16. b aware of the rules, and that they r in affect at all times no matter who, what, where, when or why
17. if i introduce u to "my ppl" behave as if ur in church....just cause i may b the connection between y'all does NOT mean that they will take to u as i have
18. act like a grown up, which is different than acting old
19. dont b an attention whore, i cant stand that and i wont succumb to ur needs---at most ill ignore u and roll my eyes as much as possible
20. dont feel the need to always b talking....silence is bliss and it also gives other ppl the chance to speak
...................there r more that i can list but ill let these sink in first ;)

side note----my weekend turned out to b excellent! we went to cbus and tried to get into the Shadowbox Cabaret....but they were sold out. so we went to see Hitch, good flick, i laughed alot. the ride home was quiet and even when we got inside my house it was quiet...til mandy left and i cracked open a book that tim bought me......we laughed for another good 2hrs!! its called "how to remodel a man" its by an internet humorist Bruce Cameron. anyhoo all is good now and im not in my "funk" anymore.

Homosexuality race and gender....

I am not sure why I feel I need to type this but for some reason I do. It seems like everyone in world just has problems with things that are a little different. Homosexuality, race, gender... I know that I have my issues with some of that, but I am tryingto be more open minded. I just want everyone to get along. The only way I see it happening is if people are open minded. A few days ago I was talking to this guy and decided to ask questions about like would he let a guy suck him off and other similar questions and he was just like no, i am not into that. I was trying to be like it doesn't matter, plus he would probably know how to do it better. I totally understand where he is coming from but i just wish I could figure out a way to approach it better or at least get him to think about it before answering. Then being home race takes on a whole new meaning to people. Like the n word is no big deal and it is a big deal to me. I guess I just didn't really know it. I know why people around here use it but i still have a really hard time grasping how they could use a word that can cause pain to someone. And finally gender, I know most of you think it isn't a big deal, but for me it is. I am female. It is probably the first thing to define me. I used to really hate when people called me a bitch and in a way it still stirs up stuff inside me. I guess that's why I wish people would at least be aware that what you say can cause pain and not only that but try to not cause pain. Sorry if that doesn't make sense. Good night.

Basic Rules of Humanity

1. Respect you fellow human beings (especially those you care about.)
2. See 1
3. See 1 and 2
4. Do you notice a pattern yet? if so continue pattern.
5. Okay look if you haven't gotten it yet there aren't rules plural. there is just one.
6. Don't even think about telling me you havn't gottenthis yet. If you haven't ye, don't bother because you aren't human then. lol

TOGETHER AGAIN.......

the ratpack hung out last nite and we're about to head to cbus, hopefully we'll find something to get into there. mandy tim and i went out to eat last nite until hoochie mama got into town. i had a mudslide with my dinner.....its been the first drink ive had in about 4 months. needless to say i was quite giggly afterwards, so was mandy. everything was all good til we got back into vernon. this truck was ridin our ass and so tim started drivin real slow. mandy got fired up and rolled down the window to yell that she "already had an asshole so get off our ass". the truck was about to turn when she yelled and quickly decided to continue following us.......so we pulled into a gas station and as they parked for w/e reason we peeled outta the parking lot. it coulda been way more "over the top" with gunfire and cops involved.....i woulda just continued giggling!! hahaha. anyhoo, we made it home and hoochie mama came over. we played dominoes and i got my ass kicked. tim and her kept tellin mandy and i what the "total" was cause yeah, we were havin trouble counting all those dots! lmao. ofcourse we had a few more drinks and well, it wouldnt b a ratpack gathering unless someone spilled their drink. this time it was mandy. ugh. kids! "i wont b able to have anything nice until the kids leave!" we all ended up goin to bed at like 4am, well everyone else went to bed....tim and i stayed up until 630 talking and i was laughing so loud that it woke mandy up. she was not pleased! :-p oh well.........so with all of us running on very few hrs of sleep we're off to columbus.........this should b interesting! more later.........................

Y DO XS HAVE TO B DUMB?

last nite at work was sooo frustrating to me that i didnt even want to talk about it. i still dont want to talk about it, just know it wasnt as smooth sailing as i was hoping for. im holding out for tonite.........

i was called again this morning by the bank for my x's car. do i really need to say more? no, but i will. there is nothin that can rain on my parade like havin a bank call me at 10am to tell me, "hey guess what? ur x is still a fuck up and the payment u thought he made bounced!" WOOHOO!! i was sooo excited that i almost pissed myself. (can u read the sarcasm?) ha. its a sad day in the world when a court order will NOT superceed a loan contract. i still feel somewhat hopeless in this situation, with no one really being able to do anything to help me, not even myself. i gave it to God, so w/e is his will with this will b........still doesnt mean im overly patient or thrilled to b dealing with this. grrrrr.

although this ^^^ is a grim situation, im very much looking forward to hanging out with all my friends this weekend. i think it will b exactly what i need! if all else fails, it will get my mind off having been married to a jackass and onto lighter subjects----even if that also turns into dealing with some sort of drama/fucktards/and/or idiocy. wish me luck.

SCARLET LETTER

well i have had this topic on my mind lately. for those of u that havent read the scarlet letter GO READ IT!! i wonder what it is that possesses us to play with temptation? ie.....doin what we know is wrong morally or doin somethin that we have specifically been told not to do. r we really as ignorant as that? is the "bad factor" that inticing? sure we all feel the need to b bad from time to time but is there a lack of total self control here? im ranting about this topic b/c i have a friend that has seemingly put theirself in this situation. i am disappointed. granted they made their own bed and they will have to lay in it but im left wondering if they will ever "wake up" and realize the consequences of their actions. from the outsiders perspective i feel as though this person is tryin to find love in all the wrong places. i feel like this person needs to "get their shit str8"---and no im not talkin about the everyday things such as goin to work and payin ur bills. i mean deal with their demons. they will never find what they r truly lookin for until they do this, i know from my personal experience---having looked to many a bf for a father figure and having all those relationships go down the drain due to such high expectations i was having. i feel like this person is equating love to sex........the two r not related. u will not ever find a partner that will love u the way a family is supposed to love u b/c there r different types of love. it is not ok to do "bad things" simply b/c u can.........if that was the case we'd all b robbing banks and stealing the cars of our dreams. im not condoning or condemning anyone for this type of behavior.......too bad we dont do things like in the scarlet letter....how many ppl would b wearing the letter A?

FUCKTARDS AND CUPIDS

aight so last nite tim, mandy and i hung out again. seems like we're fallin into this patern....hanging out on sundays. i shoulda known better than to b around ppl considering my mood the last 2 or 3 days, but i thought hanging out with them would b just the trick to get me outta my "funk". no go. instead of them acting "normal" and everyone just being chill and relaxing they picked on me all nite. normally i wouldnt mind this sooo much, however since being in a mood i wasnt up to the usual ribbing i take nor was i in the mood to dish it out. during the course of the day AND evening with them....tim made a smartass remark to me and i turned around and was like u wanna fuckin call me mean? ill tell ya whats fuckin mean, u riding my ass all fuckin nite when u know better. dont start feelin bad for tim, i also yelled at mandy! anyhoo, when mandy left tim did apologize for all his remarks and said he did know better. i told him that maybe mandy and him should not hang out with me at the same time cause she seems to bring out the smartass in him and he forgets the way i operate and then i end up pissed off. he laughed and said sorry again. mind u im only like this when im in a bad mood. ugh. thank god i got a phone call from brad who saved me, if only for 30min, from their insanity!!

on another note......i hope everyone enjoys their valentines day. my horoscope says this will b a vday that i wont forget. ugh. i wish cupid would shove his arrows up his ass!!

george---ummm no i havent considered piercing my nipples and i wouldnt ever. there is such a thing as goin too far when it comes to tats and piercings.....at least for me theres a line. congrats on becomin a hubby, good luck!

ASSHOLE DAY

MOTHER FUCKERRRRRRRR! ok, now i feel better. *lets out a deep breath* u ever just get pissy for no "good" reason? like someone will just look at u and it pisses u off? ha. maybe thats a good sign that i need to relax and have some fun. pent up agression.....its a lovely thing. lol. instead of gettin more ink with my tax return maybe i should invest in a punching bag!?!? i hate the days when im just in a mood or funk or w/e the hell u wanna call it. those r the days that i usually avoid everyone--the rat pack calls them asshole days. gotta get over it by next weekend though, thats when we're all gettin together..........and chica is moving. kinda throws a wrench in what i wanted to do with everyone since shes called on us for help. i swear that girl moves more times than i change my fuckin underwear!! damn, pick a spot and stay there. :) hopefully she'll b in this place for more than a few months.....im beginning to have a list of #s to track her down!! *another deep breath out* ok im done for now......but b forewarned!!

WEIRD SHIT & LOST SOULS

last nite at work was CRAZY! not b/c the residents were acting up but b/c i worked with a girl that ran around "lost". hall trays came out for supper and i swear she was no where to b found, ugh. i was runnin up and down the hallway like a madwoman and cussin under my breath when i ducked into a res. room to put them to bed. while doing so i was complimented. now im not tootin my own horn here, but it makes doin my job worth it when a resident tells u that u take good care of them. :) then this chic flies into the facility and asks for a co-worker, on her way out she stops me and says rnt u V's daughter? im like V who and she ofcourse says my mothers last name. i said yes and she asks me to tell her that J says hi. wow, she must not know that my mother passed away. i didnt have the heart to tell her........and so she flew out of the facility as quickly as she came in. weird. and then i was breathless over remembering my mom, damn ppl keep bringin it up! im not tryin to forget, its just not something i want to discuss in everyday convo.

i also talked to hoochie mama last nite. all i have to say is wow. she is gauging her ears.....u know puttin those big hoops or barbells thru ur piercing to stretch it. now im not sure what brought this on, but she says that theres a new side of her emerging. i dont know if i should applaud her or hide. maybe ill applaud from the closet ill b hiding in. :) funny though, darcy is wanting or goin thru this "crazy" thing and i have had the same urge.......to do something drastic to b different. (hoochie mama, wanna popcicle to help w/that other issue?) i wouldnt say that her or i am facing an identity crisis, just wanting to stand out a lil more. dont we all go thru that from time to time?
thanks lizard for the comment......i love cheesy pick up lines. they crack me up. strange how the odd things or the little things stick with us more than the grand gestures most guys think we will like. granted grand is nice and i appreciate it, but the little stuff that no one else ever thinks to do is what impresses me. like comin over when hes runnin errands to c if i need him to pick me up anything. or scraping the snow/ice off my car windows when he leaves so i dont have to. what made ur boy tell u that u have a nice head? lmao.

MY SOAPBOX!!!!!!!!!

Whats up everyone? Sorry it has been awhile but I have been extremely busy. I am preparing to move next weekend and tring to get other shit straight in my life. I have had a lot of unexpecting turns in my life and its been hard here lately. I am not going to go into details though.

Now for the soap box part. I was having a talk with Tasha and Tim about some pretty serious stuff. Sex, the do's and don't's and STD's. Look ppl, you never know what is out there. Anything can happen. There are STD's that ppl have and the don't know unless you get tested. For example, a woman can go in for a Pap test and find out that she has HPV and never knew she had it until the pap. A male, for the most part, could also not have a break out with the HPV and there are really no test the accurity say that he has it unless a break out would occur. So there for it makes him a carrier to the disease and never know and spread the disease. HPV is skin to skin contact. So even with a condom the disease still could be spread but probably not very likely but there is still that chance. Make sure that you can trust you partner and if you are in a physical relationship make sure you can talk to them. If you don't things could happen. Lady's, if by chance you were to be in these shoes make sure you u tell your partner if this comes up in your pap. A lot of guys will say that " I didn't know", " I don't have that", and other shit. They have a right to know and if you tell them then you have done your part. Guys, if a chick you are with tells you something like this take it seriously. Protect yourself and others. U never know. Its hard on both parties involved. Support each other and take things seriously even if you are not sure of your partner. I hope I reached out to and least one person by giving out this info. Please protect yourselves and take responsibility. Get tested for STD's and use a condom everytime. There are hidden diseases out there. I am writing out of love here ppl. It saddens me when I hear about ppl getting these diseases. Keep it real and I love ya, Dr. Chica.

THE LOOK

i was reading this other blog, as i have been for a couple of wks and she was talkin about the "look" her and her boy(as she calls him) give each other in crowded rooms etc. and no she wasnt talkin about the come hither look......neither am i. the "look" that im talkin about is the one that says everything u feel about the person w/o havin to say the words. know what im talkin about now? my mom used to talk to me about this so called look when i was first gettin married. that he and i didnt have this look, i thought she was just being ridiculous cause she didnt like him very much. but now i know better.......i have always said that T looks at me with such intensity that it can b scary. even when we first dated all those yrs ago.....now its even more intense, no doubt due to growth, maturity and understanding, and yeah im sure cause of a lil thing called love....but u get my point. more couples should b so lucky. its like that line in "100 girls"(its a movie, not a porn) ........a girl wants a guy to look at her like shes a gift that he cant wait to open. and when he gets to open the gift its the best thing ever........somethin like that, i havent watched it in awhile. (another good movie to watch ;) ) so um yeah........tell me about ur "looks" and sappy stories, its only appropriate....fuckin valentines day is comin up! ;)

ANOTHER DAY......

tonite was a decent nite at work. i was called everything but a white woman by a lady resident....woohoo! i wonder if i have made some sort of record for being called the most names in one week!?! ha. other than that, all was well. :)

i have not heard from mandy in almost a week, hope shes still alive! i know shes got alot on her mind and has been stayin with her mom---one cause its closer to her work but im guessing the other is for some sort of comfort over her bad news. big hugs chica!! unfortunately i racked up a huge long distance bill and cannot afford to b callin her everyday while shes in mansfield.

my sweetie changed my brakes the other day, thank god cause he showed me my old brake pads and its a wonder that i could even stop!!! ugh. its sooo nice to have someone that takes good care of me.....b it in a romantic or platonic way. i know, how ridiculous am i? most chics want a guy to buy them flowers and chocolate, and im thrilled over brakes!! :)

and finally, i am officially protesting valentines day!! i am at an utter loss as to what guys like for v-day. i took a chance and asked some of the chics i work with for some ideas......oh lord. most responses included sexy boxers and lingerie....too bad he and i rnt in that sort of situation yet or it would b simple to buy something. i however went walmarting the other day and wandered around aimlessly for awhile lookin at all kinds of things........cant tell what i bought seeings how he could read this, but im not excited about giving this gift. i know he'll appreciate w/e cause thats the way he is, but still i was hopin for somethin more. ugh. i hate valentines day!! y cant i just get away with giving a card and not feel guilty that i have somehow been cheap???

so i had a good nite at work tonite......when i came in, the residents were havin a party for mardi gras. what a hoot! they all had masks on and were eating snacks and staring off into space. they looked only mildly amused, cept for one lady.....she was up dancin around, clappin her hands and tryin oh so desperately to get the others to join in the "fun". i had to smile. they all had strings of beads on too! i asked a couple of the gentlemen how they got their beads and to no surprise they told me they had to flash their chests. hahaha then they proceeded to tell me that i could get some beads too if i would flash my bra....RIIIIIIIIIIGHT! hahaha the rest of the nite was easy until i was called a lovely array of things by a resident when i was repositioning them in bed! i had no idea, until i started doin this kind of work, that the elderly have a colorful vocabulary. "dirty bitch" "tramp" "J/C" "G/D it" "fuck u" "bitch" etc. u get the point. i have a lil bf at work, even he got nasty with me then turned around and asked me if i had a phone #! hahaha by this time my ego had taken a beating, but soon all was redeemed :) i took care of "D" tonite (shes always askin me if im takin care of her when im there). tonite was a shower nite for her and so i asked her when we would b havin our "date", now i wasnt late but she had been up and down the hallway a couple of times askin the nurse----"wheres that cute lil girl? shes so cute, isnt she, dont u think?" course my nurse let me know what was said..........awwww, compliments r sooooo nice. then my beaten ego was inflated and i smiled. the ppl i worked with tonite were cool too ;) im still glad that i have tomorrow off though................................................................

TOP 10 PHRASES

10. anyhoo........

9. what?

8. oh no u didnt!

7. cheese n rice!

6. oh my god.......

5. thats some bullshit

4. woohoo!

3. .......u know/u know what i mean?

2. what the fuck?!

1. fuck! (and every other use of the word)

ART IMPERSONATING LIFE

yesterday i was watchin a movie b4 i went to work....."as good as it gets". (its now one of my favs) i have seen this movie quite a few times and it wasnt until yesterday that i found some of the lines in it striking........for example: jack nicholsons character rushes into his psychiatrists' office demanding help, when the doc refuses to help him b/c he didnt have an appt. jack walks out into the waiting room and says to everyone waiting......."what if this is as good as it gets?" so what IF this is as good as it gets? r u happy about that? satisfied with ur life and job? r u completely content with the way things r for u? it had me thinkin.....course i like to reflect on my life periodically and "clean house" if need b or at the very least "tweak" things that i dont like goin on. :) later in the movie, jack and 2 other characters r on a road trip to boston when one of them starts telling their "sob story".....jack pipes up during the story and says that the character doesnt have a sob story, its a matter of being pissed that someone other than urself has it better than u! doesnt that imply that i (or anyone else) would b jealous? do i get perturbed when i hear stories of ppl being handed shit on a silver platter, ofcourse. but theres an extreme difference between me and them---i know the meaning of hard work, appreciation and the value of a dollar. do i get pissed when the undeserving get a break, ofcourse. but i am not jealous in the sense that i want their life, maybe just their "good luck" ;) .....anyhoo, i think y'all should watch this movie, has great things to think about.

THE SIMPLE LIFE ;)

heres an update about my x......he has finally caught the car payments up and so that makes everything that i had planned with my attorney a waste of money, so i cancelled those plans. and it also means that the repossession the bank was goin to do a waste......damn! i know a repo on my credit wouldnt have looked very good but he doesnt deserve to have that car. in the mean time i have done research on my credit and got very disappointed and depressed that all the hard work i have done to pay my bills on time thru the yrs has gone down the drain in a matter of a few months. makes me consider havin a pre-nup and never buying anything with a spouse again in the future! grrrrr.
on a different note, i spent some time with tim and mandy again this weekend. actually tim and i were supposed to have a date, but mandy called with some bad news and i HAD to have her over cause i couldnt just let her b by herself. now i wont tell ya what the bad news is, she'll have to do that......but im glad that i can b here for her and that tim understood the need to b a friend at that moment.
i also finally got to talk to hoochie mama! yay! :) shes doin aight and she'll b comin home next weekend......woohoo! the ratpack is gettin together! i always enjoy those times. even this weekend i told mandy and tim that i love that i have such good friends to share my time with. makes life a little more bearable when u have ppl u love and that love u.
speakin of love.........y'all know that valentines day is comin up?!?! i know i know, just another hallmark holiday!!! i dont typically "celebrate" this day, partially b/c my x husband never bought into it and partially b/c its really a day for chics. seriously, do u guys dig gettin chocolate or flowers or havin a special nite planned???? exactly what r chics supposed to do or get their sweetheart for v-day???? i have no clue, i usually only gave a card to at least show that i was aware of the day and that yeah i cared. is that enough? guys, i need a lil help on this one.........any input????
so thats life for me for right now. go to work, pay the bills and b a friend. simple, but it works. ;) more later...........