Life Love

So after watching two movies i got to thinking about life and love... my two favorite things or at least the two things that occupy my mind the most. Many times in my life I have wondered how to give it meaning. What's the point in living if you don't have a reason? Well honestly, youare the one that gives your life meaning and you just happen to share your life with all these other people who are living at the same time you are. And since I know I can't make an impression that will be in history books or anything that last, I want to make it now with the people I care about. I want to love my friends and family fully but truthfully. And even though I have always hoped of finding someone to grow old with and share my life and all, if I can just love period then it is like nothing else matters. I made the only mark that I ever wanted to make. I hope I remember that for as long as I need to. If not, well at least Ithought of it once....

i did my homework

So Tash and I were talking today and started to talk about telemarketers. I figure they will eventually call you again even after putting you on their don't call list. Tash told me that my homework was to check it out. So I did cause I need something with a purpose to do. I figured I would share my findings. You can sign up 3 phone numbers, this includes cell phone numbers, on the National Do Not Call List. This limits calls "from or on behalf of political organizations, charities, and telephone surveyors would still be permitted, as would calls from companies with which you have an existing business relationship, or those to whom you’ve provided express agreement in writing to receive their calls." It is supposed to work within 31 days and lasts for 5 years. You cando this online at https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx but I do not know if it works from personal experience. You can also ask the company to be on their don't call list and that gets you on for 10 years. They do have to listen or they can be fined. One other thing that I found that is like a side note that I found kind of interesting is that you can record that annoying sound on your answering machine it makes when you dial a wrong number and it confuses some computers into not calling you anymore.
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

THE FUNNIES

i had to laugh when i read our local paper this mornin......this is how small our town is, lol. there was an article on the front page stating that a local man live trapped two, yes two, albino ground hogs. lmao. he was quoted as sayin, "....they stood out against the green grass." im soooo impressed i may look him up and shake his hand. (read the sarcasm there pls) for those that r familiar with the area it would figure the man is from danville....hahahaha. :) the rest of the articles were ugh "normal".

last nite at work i got stuck workin 4hrs by myself again. grrrr. i dont know y some ppl think its easier to do the south side of the building cause i think its rough. i had 4 baths to give and only got to 3 of them. im pretty proud of myself considering i was by myself. my nurse was awesome, she told me not to worry about any of it cause if they (the hotshots) want all this shit done they will either hire more ppl or work the floor themselves. :) i love nurses like that, hehehe.

two more days of work and then i get to work on movin. whatta way to spend my weekend off!! but its gotta b done..........

WEEKEND BLAHS

well saturday i ventured out to find some boxes and struck cardboard gold. i came home with the intentions of only packin up a couple of boxes and ended up packin everything!! i still have bathroom stuff to pack, food from the kitchen and to throw my shoes in a bag but ill do those things friday nite. the big move is in 4 days not counting today. im excited and yet dreading it. im keepin my fingers crossed that it doesnt rain.

i found out that another sick person has passed away. it sucks. i cried for her and mom and the rest of them. i seriously considered goin to her funeral today but decided it would b a little too weird for me. i just left my condolences on the funeral home's website.

yesterday tim wanted to go try to find curtains for the new living room. he, darcy and i went to mansfield. no luck yet again. i think he wants somethin cheap.....which makes sense, but bottom line is that curtains r not cheap!! so we're still on the look out. ugh. i think the real problem is that i have a jungle theme in my living room now and am carrying it over to the new place. i dont like soooo much neutral and am trying to find some color to throw into it. i hate that i cant just paint the damn walls!!!

thats been my weekend. i work tonite. i hope that this one resident was able to move out or at least come to terms with the size of their room. how silly was it that their family put them there w/o ever comin into the facility to actually c the room?!?! then to get pissed off when they come in to visit and c how cramped it is. ppl kill me. even b4 i go to WORK at a facility i go in to check it out.......i most definitely would go in if i were puttin a family member there to LIVE. duh!! anyhoooooo thats it, more later.

UNCLE SAM, GRRR

so i hear on the news today that instead of increasing the tax on beer, as was the plan, that now the chiefs in charge will just add a 25 cent increase to the tax on cigarettes. WTF??? i wanna know y cigarettes get the shit taxed outta them when its drunk drivers who r constantly killin ppl??? granted second hand smoke has its effects but at least it doesnt alter anyones state of mind!!! it just burns my ass that everyone wants to "get" the smokers and no one really pays attention to the drinkers. maybe if a beer cost u 15 bucks at a bar ud think twice about how many ur gonna have and then step into a car. seriously, what bullshit. i can remember when u could buy a 20 oz soda and a pack of smokes for 5 bucks or less........it takes 5 bucks just to get the smokes now. tell me if im wrong....but i havent seen a dramatic increase in beer prices since then. the world is goin to shit.

no personal news.....well i do have a funny story about my x but i think ill keep that one for my personal enjoyment. lets just say i laughed long and hardy yet again. i should thank him one of these days for continuously makin me laugh.....ud think that he would get tired of bringin me such amusement but it just doesnt cease. ;) hahahaha

im movin next weekend and i only have one, thats right ONE box packed. ugh, i hate packin then unpackin. how silly. i need to find some more boxes. thats my mission tomorrow b4 i go to work. maybe ill even get around to fillin those boxes!! :) keep ur fingers crossed for me.

BDAY WISHES.....

my bday was amazing. i told tim about the comment i made on hoochie mama's post.....about bdays as u get older r only special if someone in ur life makes them special. i think he took it as a personal challenge, which were not my intentions at all. anyhoo....tuesday, tim and angie showed up to wish me a happy bday. we went to lunch and tim gave me the most beautiful ring. not an engagement ring. it has emeralds and diamonds and its super sparkly. i havent gotten a ring in yrs and im tickled pink over it! :) ang bought me some storage shelves for our house. tims gma gave me these absolutely delicious gourmet brownies. and she made me a batch of my fav....egg salad. mmmm i was thrilled just spending some time with them, but when i got home from work.....tim had the apt. decorated in streamers, party hats, noise makers, a cake and my friends!!! i was soooo surprised!!! jess, andrea, sara and darcy were all here. i loved it. they sang the bday song to me and i got to blow out the candles on my cake to make a wish. yay! :) wednesday i changed our plans and went shoppin instead....still a good time. my new license pic sucks ass, but i really did have the best bday in yrs. a special thanks to tim for makin it happen, but thanks to everyone else who came to c me. :) :) :)

ITS OFFICIAL.......

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday dear Tasha
happy birthday to me!! :) :) :)

thats right, today is my bday. the count down is finally over and its official....as angie would say, i am a quarter of a century old. (just remember douchebag, ur bday is next month!!) no big plans for later, but wednesday its on. ill have to let y'all know how it turns out. :)

as for the garage sale'n i did....no luck. but ill keep lookin for that kitchen table. 11 more days and ill b movin, woohoo!! i cant wait to get into the house and outta this dinky apt. its been good for the time ive been here, but the house will b soooo much better. yay!

well thats it kids, im wore out and headin to bed. more later.....ciao.

I don't belong anywhere.

I was thinking because I know I don't belong in Mount Vernon. I mean the people are nice most of the time but it is such a small town that I can't really be me. kent isn't home either, with all the people I cared about, gone and not really knowing if they even remember me sometimes. I am beginning to wonder if anything will change once I graduate. Do I belong in the real world? once Iget to be a teacher will I be able to handle that? I mean I can't even bring myself to buy teacher clothes yet.
I am pretty sure I am not going to get a job at Cedar Point for the summer so I really want to cry because my two best friends from high school are going to end up there without me. I will celebrate turning 21 here, but I don't think it will be much of a celebrationanymore because in Mount Vernon you have to be on good behavior or else you are like on the outsider list forever and everyone will make yous life a living hell.
And the 3-4 hours a day I see my mom she like doesn't want to just get away. Like when it was raining a couple of days ago she had to look out the window and tellme everything she saw. Iwas like mom if i wanted to see i would get up and look, but I stayed. She didn't get the hint. The first day i got here i put shoes on and she was like what are you doing? I was like whoa, mama I am putting shoes on.... *sighs* I love her a lot, but she gets on my nerves so fast. She still talks to me like I am three and I keep telling her and telling her and she tells me she will stop or blames me because she only has the cats around to talk to.
Like I said I don't think I can handle this town this summer. I may just get real depressed again this summer only without a job. nah I will just find a stupid one that requires little thought.

Life's "Little" Points

I believe that life has its little points, point A to point B, for a reason. Lifes leasons are built apon them. I am sure most of you will be happy to know that I have left my resent fling behind. I have had bad dreams about him lately and I know that its a sign. I am having a really bad day. I am having one to those "I just wanna be drunk" nights. My boss just informed me today that I will not be working on every weekend. Thanx! So, that sucks, that was more money. So I have considered also working a parttime job to keep me busy. I really don't know what the hell I am writing so I am going to stop and just go with things.

SPOOKY

woooooo, its friday the 13th!! knock on wood, say a prayer or rub a rabbits foot for luck today! hehehe i know its cliche but i had to say somethin about it!!! :-p u know what else is mysterious? i finally got around to askin payroll at work what the hell happened to my first check.....seems that they mailed it to me when direct deposit didnt go thru and it got sent back to corporate. hmmm. p got my file out and checked the addy, its correct considering im the one who wrote it down, not sure y i didnt get my check. corporate is sending it to the facility. i told p that she should just keep it there and i would pick it up.....along with my next check if direct deposit still doesnt go thru. ugh. im reminded of jay and silent bob----"wheres my motha fuckin movie check???" bong!!! hehehe

work last nite was good, k was there and everything was aaaaaa ok. well, i did spill piss all over a resident not once, but twice.....that sucked. i swear i put his penis inside the urinal far enough and that the urinal was layin flat!!! he wasnt mad, but laughed when i told him that it wasnt my fault if he couldnt pee str8!! :) im glad that i can joke with the residents, makes things easier sometimes. other than that it was smooth sailing.......i hope tonite goes as well. woohoo!! i have this weekend off!!! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!

speaking of this weekend, tim, angie, steve, probably darcy and i are all goin garage sale'n. tim and i r on a mission to find a cheap kitchen table with chairs. i hope it stays nice out like it is today. maybe we'll hit up jc penny outlet or some other cheap ass store so i can get a few things for our new place. :) wish me luck...................

IN THE MIX

i come home from work starving cause i dont usually take anything with me to eat on my lunch. i want something quick cause its late at nite.....typically its either a sandwhich (pb or lunch-meat) or its ramen soup. i like adding things to my soup, even my sandwhiches depending on what it is. if its mushroom flavored and if i have fresh mushrooms in the frig i like choppin some up and throwin those in. i like crackers. cheese. left over rice. i like cheese doritos on my turkey sandwhiches. plain chips on others. i like makin sandwhiches with bagels. i wanna know what all u guys have put or do put in ur soup or on ur sandwhiches???? lets not state the obvious either like ketchup, mustard, pickles or mayonaise. :-p

this is outta left field.....first, did u know that when u fart its b/c ur body is pushing waste thru ur bowels preparing u for a good healthy shit??? that being said, it got me to thinkin the other day that if farting is a sign of shit to come then does that mean burping is a sign of "shit" to come??? :) hehehe

anyways, work was hectic. i was by myself for 4hrs. ur probably thinkin that its no big deal, but when u work in a nursing facility its a HUGE deal. im sore from repositioning ppl that were a lil too heavy for just me to b doing and im wore out. thank god i dont go in tomorrow til 7pm. 2 more days and im off the weekend.......woohoo! so im off to bed, g'nite y'all. zzzzz

A FEW OF MY FAV THINGS

i thought that i would take a moment and b extremely self absorbed.....my excuse is that my bday is around the corner. (7 days to b exact :) ) and well, what better time to b self absorbed than the day u were born!!!

MY FAVS:

the scent of freshly laundered clothes.

the color green.....duh!

bruce willis.

motown music, its short, sweet and to the point...and it makes me feel good.

shopping for new bras and panties. :)

laughing ridiculously with tim.

i love book stores.

having good things to write about in my journal.......the one in my nitestand ;)

chocolate covered almonds.

pb icecream.

my pajamas!!!! hahaha

i love anything that feels soft and or silky.

cold pillows.

hangin out with my friends.

sitting outside when its nice, sippin on something cold.

thunderstorms, the bigger and more dramatic the better.

board games and card games.

the word "fuck".

massages.

comin home and having voicemails.

i could list more but i think this is sufficient self absorbtion for now. thanks for indulging me, feel free to post some of ur favs......... :)

NO CREATIVE TITLE TODAY

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! to all that r moms, and to those moms who have given me great friends. :)

now that i got that out of my system....work is work, nothing elaborate to report except that i have never seen so many trach patients in one facility. it makes me feel bad that i cant always read their lips and know what it is they r askin me. im hopin that in time i will better understand them cause i cant imagine the frustration in wanting to tell someone something and them not understanding what it is that im tryin to say. or the fact that i have to ask them to repeat the sentence more than once....i hate repeating myself, let alone them.

i may b moving soon!! ill know for sure tomorrow, keep ur fingers crossed for me, i really want to move into this house. theres not a whole lot of closet space so ill need some creative ideas as to how to make some storage room.....granted its a 3 bedroom house, but i dont want to use a room just for "stuff", not to mention i dont really want to have to go upstairs to get towels when i want to take a shower.....i can admit that i like the convenience factor. :) if i get this house ill b movin within the next 2 wks, so yes ill b callin in some favors...........u know u guys love me!! (as im batting my eyes, lol)

i think my car has turned into a gas guzzling whore. tim says its just cause im driving further to get to work, i dont know bout all that. i filled my tank up on wednesday on my way to mansfield, worked thursday, friday, yesterday and will go in today and already im on half a tank. it doesnt sound right to have used that much gas in a matter of 3 days!?!? if im gonna have to put gas in my car every 4 days just to get to work i may need a second job. damn the gas prices!!!!

the x called me the other nite, left me with a "good" # to reach him at and to let me know that he'll b bringing my stuff home with him in june. i can only hope.....oh and he said he didnt appreciate me laughin over the fact that his cell got turned off. that i had no idea what the situation was and to not post anything that has to do with his finances anymore. the first thought that crossed my mind over the cell phone was surprisingly not the idea of him not payin or payin his bill---it was the idea of an x gettin pissed off over being harassed by another x and changing the phone #. i was only mildly amused by that, but what really cracked me up was last nite i came home from work to another message from him......he says---hey its me, i cant find my keys, cant remember if u have the spare, call me back. LMAO seriously, he lives in another state!! even if i had the spare, which i do NOT, how the hell was i gonna help him with that situation??? hahaha i shouldnt laugh, but i will.....especially since i didnt call him back!! :)

officially 9 more days!!!!!!!!! whos gonna celebrate with me??? :) :) :) :)

LIKE ANY OTHER DAY...

first of all i have to apologize to hoochie mama for deleting her post. it made all the side bar stuff slide down to the bottom of the page and u know how i hate it when things rnt even!! :) im glad im not the only one havin a count down to their bday!! i only have 12 more days and now hoochie mama u only have 20!

yesterday tim and i went to mansfield and saw mandy. we went to victorias secret so i could use my gift card.....i love new bras and panties! ahhh its the little things.....:) and then i returned some drapes i had bought for rodney. whos ever heard of a store with a time limit on returning items??? well since i had not returned the items within the specified 2wk limit the cash was put onto a gift card. pfft, no good considering rodney is old and would never venture to mansfield nor to this particular store to use it. what to do, what to do. i spent it and ill just give him the cash. what bullshit was that? i had the stupid receipt!!! ugh. so tim and i dropped mandy off at home and then we got back here.........we ordered chinese. mmmmm, i love chinese but y do u feel hungry again in an hour??? i mean u have the starchy rice and u do have meat in the mix what gives!?!? its probably part of some secret government ploy to keep the economy going........

NOTHIN BIG

wow, i really have a boring life. mandy and i talked about this too last weekend!! funny how then i was tryin to point out the brighter side of things and today im wishing i had a few more things goin on in my life---which does not include drama. she was upset that most ppl her age r out partying and clubbin and just all around "liv in it up" while she does not. i dont either, but i did get my fair share done while we had spring breaks in school. ;) i told her that while those ppl were livin off of mom and dad we had our own places, own cars, own stuff, own rules to live by and that far out weighed being able to ask mommy and daddy for 200 bucks to take a road trip on. etc. with that being said the only new thing i have to share is about my first nite at work......it seemed oddly calm thru gettin ppl ready for supper and then for bed. i kept askin is it always like this? ofcourse the answer was no, they were just full staffed that nite. it also helped that the other aid workin with us got alot of residents ready for bed while my trainer could point things out and answer my questions. not sure if i like that. sure i need to know where the hopper is and the laundry room but i really want to, no need to get to know the residents. there is one older lady that i can already c as a potential "chatty kathy". i will stay away from her other than the 2 nites she'll b training me on the skilled unit. ugh. anyhoo.....thats about it.......oh! my bday is in 16 days now!!! woohoo!!!