Lets face it, anymore you make my stomach contents curdle like spoiled milk. To think of you is like an ultimate brain freeze because you are so cold. Its constantly raining around me, the wind blows that coldest winds, its constantly winter, and slick as ice. I thought that falling for you was a good idea because we both know what its like to be burned. I thought for once in my life I could find out what love truly was and that this feeling wouldn't be wrong. I was wrong. You are a liar, you cheat me out of kindness and affection, you play me like a fiddle, and you have no respect for anyone not even yourself. You laugh because you know its true. You take advantage because you want people to hurt like you. You can't be honest with yourself and that leads you to the lies. Your pathetic soul you try to hide. I tried to do things out of kindness for you, I was there to listen when you wanted to speak. I put up with some lame sex to where it has gotten to the point that I am not sure whether or not I can tell the difference between a real orgasm or not. I have had such high regards for you and respected your oppion and yet you do nothing but shut me down. You have one of the ugliest hearts I have ever seen. You touch, your kiss could send a person into hypothermia. You words, the lies could penetrate a persons heart and have it shatter into many pieces like glass. Why do you do others this way? Why can't anyone, not only you, be honest with anyone? Why do we feel like hiding each others feelings is benefiting the other person? Why do people lie to cover up the truth? I think its because the feel they can't handle the truth not the other person. They don't want the guilt on their minds. I am ready to tell all again and again. I want to love you, I want this whole thing to be a lie and be given the respect that I deserve. I am not asking you for a relationship. I am just asking you to see me more than our quote unquote relationship and realize that I am not just a good lay. I am not putting myself on a high horse with that last statement but lets face it we have been doing our thing for other a year and something is going right. I am done as of my last and final phone call I make whether I get you or your voicemail and of this post. Its your choice. Can you step up and be a man? Or continue to be a pussy and trip over your own deception? I'm waiting.............................................................
3 comments:
From what I'm reading..You need to stop wasting your time with someone who treats you like crap and just take "Amanda" time...it would be good for you....Love will come in time. Dont force it! Your obviously not connected with this person emotionally and sexually....So just let go and work on you.
If u all have been doing your thing for over a year and u have developed feeling for this man and he don't have them for u then u need to move on stop calling him and just get over it. It was a thing and if u both agreed that it was only going to be a thing then it's your fault for falling for him and not letting it stay a thing. If a man can have a thing with someone then why would he want a relationship if u were giving it up without a commentment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
File this under...
"Things that make you go hmmmm"
Would you feed a cow if you didn't have to?
Would you buy the milk if the cow gave it to you free?
The wisdom is all around you. Take some time and think about what it really means.
Would you Mandy? Could you Mandy? Should you Mandy? Buy the cow if the milk is free?
Would you pay attention to her if you didn't have to? It doesn't matter whether or not you love the cow, you still get the milk for free.
Free? Yes free! Think real hard Mandy. Think about all the things you have received in this life for free.
Now ask yourself if valued them. Something without value can be thrown away. If it has no value than why even bother with it? Some things yes, most things no. Don't think to deep about this. Just be quiet and accept your position in the matter. You have no value to him, that means YOU ARE NOT VALUABLE, YOU CAN BE DISGARDED LIKE YESTERDAYS GARBAGE.
Now accept it. Accept it and grow.
Or not. And continue the cycle of pain and torment. I really don't give a shit either way.
But you should.
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